whats going on??

haloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo???

DEAR FELLOW COUINS!!!!WHY IS NOBODY POSTING ANTHING???????!!!! ITS GETTING BOARING!!!!!!!

Why, Why, Why
Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but checkwhen you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolverat him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubblebath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that somethingnew to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner,then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum onemore chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open fromthe end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shoppingcart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't allright, so why don't we say, "That hurt,you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? And my FAVORITE...
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering fromsome sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Lapidus Family hanging around

Wolwovsky MD kids

Sruly & Chavi's Wedding

free flight

http://www.dockersfreeflight.com/

Shneur Wilhelm & Eli Barber at Reber's Hachnosas Sefer Torah

yosef in the news

These are very exciting times for the Greater Hartford Jewish community. This is a true time of rejoicing.
Shturem reporter
Glastonbury, Ct – These are very exciting times for the Greater Hartford Jewish community. For the thousands of families of all denominations touched by Chabad’s activities, this is a true time of rejoicing. Construction for the all new, state-of the-art Bennett Rothstein Chabad Jewish Center in Glastonbury is all but complete.A Grand Opening date has been set for Sunday, June 3rd, and will take place at the site of the new Center – 25 Harris Street in Glastonbury. “We invite every member of the community to celebrate this great milestone,” said Rabbi Yosef Wolvovsky, Executive Director of Chabad: East of the River which operates the Glastonbury location. “Our doors are open to everyone,” he said. The event, which is free and open to all, will begin at 1:00pm.The new Center will serve all segments of the community with a large variety of educational, social, cultural, and religious services. The largest space of the facility will be designated as a multi-purpose room, housing the sanctuary as well as the social hall. The educational wing of the building will include children and adult classrooms, a multi-media library, and a conference room. In addition, space is set aside for offices, kitchens, and an art gallery.“The entire community is very, very excited about this new Center,” said the Rabbi. “People are eager to contribute and to get involved in any way possible.”For the past six years, Chabad: East of the River has been operating out of the Wolvovsky’s home. For holidays and larger events, they would rent a local hall or school to conduct activities. With the steadily increasing demand for Chabad’s services, however, this setup proved to be inadequate. And so, armed with the desire to do good and help others, and the backing of some dedicated supporters, Chabad began searching for a permanent home.With the help of some very generous community members, led by the Rothstein family, Chabad purchased a 5,000-square-foot building which formally housed the Glastonbury Market, a local convenience store. The building needed a complete makeover to make it suitable for a Chabad Center. To that end, the organization commissioned the services of Russell & Dawson, a local, renowned architect, to draw up plans that would reflect Chabad’s needs and activities. In addition, the services of interior designer Rita Brownstein were secured to help layout the interior of the building.Rabbi Wolvovsky credits several key community members in helping Chabad purchase the building. They include: Mr. Harold Rothstein (who will name the building in honor of his son, Bennett); Mr. Eugene Rosenberg, an owner of Bob’s Discount Furniture; Mr. Alan Lazowski of Laz Parking; Mr. Ilya Tzvok (who will name the Sanctuary in memory of his son, Mark); Mr. Jeffrey Hoffman of the Hoffman Auto Group; Mr. David Chase of Chase Enterprises; The Gelles Family; Mr. and Mrs. Bruce and Roberta Singer of Puritan Furniture; Mr. Stuart Cohn; Dr. and Mrs. Steve and Nancy Hershcopf; Attorney Bruce Beck; Margery Gussak of Margery Gussak Catering; Doctors Peter and Emily Buch; The Balaban Family; and Mr. & Mrs. Marvin Selsky.The Rabbi also emphasized how grateful he is to the supporters of Chabad in West Hartford, led by Rabbi Joseph Gopin, for enthusiastically supporting the East of the River project. “It is truly heartening to see how much the people and supporters of Chabad in Harford care about the entire region,” he said.To assure the Chabad Jewish Center’s financial stability, the organization has formed several new “clubs” of donors. “Every person or family can be a philanthropist,” said Wolvovsky. “Everyone can be a partner in the vital work of the Center.” Added the Rabbi: “It is a very exciting time for the Jewish community… We invite you to invest in a very bright future!”For more information on the Chabad Jewish Center, please call (860) 659-2422, email Rabbi@ChabadER.com, or log on to www.ChabadER.com.**********Media Only Preview!Members of the media are invited to a special preview of the all-new Chabad Jewish Center in Glastonbury. The event will take place on Sunday, May 20th, 2007, at 1:00pm.Reserve your spot by calling Rabbi Wolvovsky at (860) 659-2422, or by email: Rabbi@ChabadER.com.**********InterviewsTo schedule an interview with Rabbi Wolvovsky, or with community members, please call (860) 659-2422, or email: Rabbi@ChabadER.com.Photos015 – Archway & EntranceThis majestic archway adorns the main entrance of the all-new Chabad Jewish Center in Glastonbury (25 Harris Street). “When we began,” said the architect, “I googled ‘Jewish Temple,’ and found a rendering of the ancient Temple in Jerusalem.” And so, the main entrance to the new Center is designed to resemble the archway of the Holy Temple! “Every good deed that we do ads another proverbial brick to the Holy Temple,” says Rabbi Yosef Wolvovsky, Executive Director of Chabad. “It is very appropriate that this inspiration is engrained in the very structure of the new Center.” The archway will carry the words, “The Bennett Rothstein Chabad Center.”016 – Outside Front ViewThe all-new Chabad Jewish Center in Glastonbury (25 Harris Street) will house the expanding educational, social, cultural and religious activities of Chabad: East of the River.017/018 – Sanctuary & Social HallThis largest room in the all-new Chabad Jewish Center is the main sanctuary. The space, which will double as a banquet hall, is dedicated in loving memory of Mark Tzvok, whom we lost at an all too young age. “We know this will be a place of joy and inspiration,” said Rabbi Yosef Wolvovsky, Executive Director of Chabad. “It will surely serve as a great merit for Mark’s soul.”019 – Youth ZoneA major focus of Chabad's activities is youth programming. Every room of the all-new Chabad Jewish Center will be used for educational purposes. Here, you can see the colorful “Youth Zone,” a special room just for the children. This area has yet to be sponsored, and is available for dedication. If you can be of help, please call Rabbi Wolvovsky at (860) 659-2422.020 – Like FamilyKey supporters of Chabad, who made the new Chabad Jewish Center in Glastonbury possible, pose during a pre-opening, VIP tour.021 – Rabbi WolvovskyRabbi Yosef Wolvovsky, Executive Director of “Chabad: East of the River,” based in Glastonbury, CT. The organization will be hosting a Grand Opening for the all-new Bennett Rothstein Chabad Jewish Center on Sunday, June 3 at 1:00pm. The facility is located at 25 Harris Street in Glastonbury. כ"ו אייר ה'תשס"ז

Jack took a long look at his speedometer before slowing down: 73 in a 55 zone. Fourth time in as many months. How could a guy get caught so often?

When his car had slowed to 10 miles an hour, Jack pulled over, but only partially. Let the cop worry about the potential traffic hazard. Maybe some other car will tweak his backside with a mirror. The cop was stepping out of his car, the big pad in hand.

Bob? Bob from Church? Jack sunk farther into his trench coat. This was worse than the coming ticket. A cop catching a guy from his own church. A guy who happened to be a little eager to get home after a long day at the office. A guy he was about to play golf with tomorrow.

Jumping out of the car, he approached a man he saw every Sunday, a man he'd never seen in uniform.

Hi Bob, Fancy meeting you like this.

"Hello, Jack." No smile.

"Guess you caught me red-handed in a rush to see my wife and kids."

"Yeah, I guess." Bob seemed uncertain. Good. I've seen some long days at the office lately. I'm afraid I bent the rules a bit -just this once.

Jack toed at a pebble on the pavement. Diane said something about roast beef and potatoes tonight. Know what I mean? I know what you mean. I also know that you have a reputation in our precinct . Ouch. This was not going in the right direction. Time to change tactics.

"What'd you clock me at?"

Seventy. Would you sit back in your car please?

Now wait a minute here, Bob. I checked as soon as saw you. I was barely nudging 65. The lie seemed to come easier with every ticket.

"Please, Jack, in the car"

Flustered, Jack hunched himself through the still-open door. Slamming it shut, he stared at the dashboard. He was in no rush to open the window.

The minutes ticked by. Bob scribbled away on the pad.

Why hadn't he asked for a driver's license?

Whatever the reason, it would be a month of Sundays before Jack ever sat near this cop again. A tap on the door jerked his head to the left. There was Bob, a folded paper in hand Jack rolled down the window a mere two inches, just enough room for Bob to pass him the slip.

"Thanks." Jack could not quite keep the sneer out of his voice.

Bob returned to his police car without a word. Jack watched his retreat in the mirror. Jack unfolded the sheet of paper. How much was this one going to cost?

Wait a minute. What was this? Some kind of joke?

Certainly not a ticket. Jack began to read:

"Dear Jack, Once upon a time I had a daughter. She was six when killed by a car. You guessed it- a speeding driver. A fine and three months in jail, and the man was free. Free to hug his daughters, all three of them. I only had one, and I'm going to have to wait until Heaven before I can ever hug her again.

A thousand times I've tried to forgive that man. A thousand times I thought I had. Maybe I did, but I need to do it again. Even now. Pray for me. And be careful, Jack, my son is all I have left."

"Bob"

Jack turned around in time to see Bob's car pull away and head down the road. Jack watched until it disappeared. A full 15 minutes later, he too, pulled away and drove slowly home, praying for forgiveness and hugging a surprised wife and kids when he arrived.

Cute OMER link

Click here: Bangitout's Sports Lover's Omer Counter

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO OUR DEAR BROTHER/UNCLE NACHMAN WILHELM!!!!!! UNTIL 120....WE WISH YOU ALL THE BEST!!

A welcome home joke !!!

A Jewish couple won 20 million dollars in the lottery. They immediately set out to begin a life of luxury. They bought a magnificent mansion estate in Southampton and surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable. They then decided to have a butler and, wanting the best, they traveled to London to hire one. They found the perfect butler through an agency and brought him back to their estate. The day after his arrival, they instructed him to set up the dining room table for four, that they were inviting the Cohens to brunch. The couple then left the house to do some shopping. When they returned, they found the table set for eight. They asked the butler why eight, when they had specifically instructed him to set the table for four. The butler replied, "The Cohens telephoned and said they were bringing the Bagels and the Knishes."

Enjoy!!!

Gates Vs, GM - enjoy!
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affectionfor the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computerindustry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up withtechnology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:If GM haddeveloped technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars withthe following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........ Twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You wouldhave to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shutoff the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.For some reason you would simply accept this!!
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause yourcar to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light
7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you outand refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive allover again, because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Happy Belated birthday BERELE WILHELM . Welcome back to the states. Can't wait to spend time with you and Racheli once your back home. Have a Kosher and freilechen pesach.

I can't believe we forgot!!!!!!!
Happy(belated) Birthday Chaya Wilhelm MInnesota. May you be a great source of nachas to the whole family.

mazal tov rochele

happy b day to my dear wife may she have a sweet year with only good things ...i love you ..mendy

Lapidus Family

enlarge before reading.

Enjoy!!!

Picture of Baby Chaya Lison

Thanks everyone for all the phone calls.

Mommy & Baby are doing great B"H.

Mazel tov Zalman and Rivki upon your 9th wedding anniversary chof ches adar. May you have many many happy years together.

Mazel tov , Mazel tov. Thanks for sharing these pictures of Mordechai'(Mochai) Bar Mitzvah. It Loooks like it was a real beautifual and joyous simcha. May you have much nachas from him.